The Path to Being a Hardbody Geek

While it's been great fun relating my stories of pain and anguish while going through P90X, part of my hope in writing this blog is that other geeks out there will see what we're doing and realize that you don't have to condemn yourself to a life of being a Mountain Dew swilling code monkey in order to keep your geek credentials. Personally I think most geeks sell themselves short on the physical end and just assume that since you're smart and enjoy the glow of an LCD screen at 3:00am that you need to look like a pear. Well, I'm here to say that isn't so, and I've put together some ideas on how to get yourself on the path to being a hardbody geek.

The first step for all your wannabe hardbody geeks is to realize that being in shape is not just reserved for gym rats and muscle-bound freaks. Anyone is capable of getting into good shape, but you also must realize that it’s going to take some time and effort. From my experience we geeks are notoriously obsessive about things (hence the reason why we can play WoW nonstop for 12 hours), and so we need to take our OCD tendencies and put them to work for us.


Step 1: Become the Expert – On Yourself

Part of the geek mantra is to become an expert on anything you’re about to buy or do. I think we do it because we like to flex our intellectual muscle when we’re around our friends, but the reason doesn’t really matter. Eventually we want to become experts on nutrition and fitness, but first we need to become experts on ourselves. This is usually the most depressing step – owning up to realizing you’re out of shape and actually taking an inventory on it. Here’s where you can get some help:

Body Fat Percentage Estimator – Body fat (and its loss) is one of the best indicators of how well you are doing on a fitness and nutrition plan. Tons of people rely on the scale only, but that’s just part of the equation. Personally I can fluctuate 5 pounds up or down on a given day just by how much water I drink. This calculator is based on the Navy Circumference method and is an estimate only. However, it does give you a decent idea as to where you stand.

Body Fat Percentage Information - Now that you have your approximate body fat, look on the chart and see how you are doing. Just so you know, being in the “Adults in the Unites States – Average” box is not necessarily a good thing. It means you’re not classified as obese, but you know you can do better.

You may decide later on to get more in-depth in this personal inventory, but for now this should hopefully start getting you going in the direction of wanting to become a hardbody geek.


Step 2: Become the Expert – On Nutrition and Fitness

Like I said before, we geeks like to be experts on everything we do. Well, there’s no way we’re going to work out if we don’t know every tiny little intricacy in doing it right. With that in mind, here are a few places to turn for information:

Nutrition.gov – Your tax dollars hard at work. The feds have put together a site that gives good general information about nutrition. This is the place to start if you know nothing about nutrition.

How to read food labels - I’ve always been amazed at how people still don’t know how to read food labels. Here’s a primer on the art of understanding what is in your food.

EXRX.net – Probably the most comprehensive online source for fitness information out there. This site offers a little bit of everything, so take your time and look through it extensively. If you read everything on here you’re definitely on your way to becoming an expert.


Step 3: Find the Right Program for You

Alright, so we’ve been honest with ourselves and realize that we’re officially out of shape. We’ve even gone as far as becoming an expert in the fields of fitness and nutrition. But what are we supposed to do from here? Buy all new food, join a gym, buy some sweatbands, and start pumping iron? Well, unfortunately that’s what most of the inexperienced folks do, and that’s going to lead to failure. Yes, I know – you did all this reading and you’re now an expert... right? Actually, you’re pretty much the equivalent of a paper-MCSE. You have all the knowledge, but no real experience to put it effectively into practice. What you need is someone (or something) to guide you through the workout and nutrition at least for a little while. We need to crawl before we can walk, and trying to design our own fitness and nutrition plan from scratch with only the internet as guidance is like strapping a pair of rocket boots on to a 3-month old. In theory it will work, but the sickening splat at the end reminds you that it wasn’t the best of ideas. There are a couple of ways you can go about this:

Get a trainer AND nutritionist
This is by far the most expensive option, but if you are a successful geek then maybe this won’t be a problem. Notice how I said get a trainer AND nutritionist. A trainer is someone that will develop a workout plan for you, guide you through it, and be a constant source of motivation. However, a trainer is not necessarily a nutritionist. A nutritionist needs a college degree and usually some type of state certification. Many trainers will give “nutrition advice,” but there’s no guarantee that they know what they’re talking about. By pairing the two up you get the best of both worlds. And since you’re able to afford both of them don’t skimp on the workouts – work with your trainer 4-5 days per week. Some lame, 3-day a week workout program isn’t going to keep you on track.

Find an at home workout program
This option is probably about 1/100th the cost of the above option, and for many it can yield the same results. Why are there no steps in-between the two? Well, I’m assuming that the wannabe hardbody geeks are workout n00bs, and joining a gym is just going to be a colossal waste of money. Sure, you can hire one of their trainers, but if you don’t have the ability to pay for 4-5 sessions per week then save it and head back home. Besides, heading into a gym with a bunch of jocks is like walking into freshman year of high school all over again. Save yourself the trouble (and possible humiliation of dropping a barbell on yourself).

Since this blog is primarily about using the P90X then obviously that would be one of my top recommendations. The main reason I chose the P90X program was because it had the complete package of fitness and nutrition. You are more apt to stick with a program that is simple, and P90X is about as simple as they come. However, the workouts are extremely intense and may be too hard for somewhat just starting a fitness program. If that’s the case, I would recommend P90X’s little brother, Power 90. The program includes both the fitness and nutrition portions, so it will get you on your way to being a hardbody geek.


Step 4: Track Your Progress – In Public!

Usually when people start fitness working out and eating well (notice I didn’t say the word diet – more on that in subsequent posts) they tell everyone they know – sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, co-workers, and passersby on the street. Then about two weeks later no one hears about it anymore (then again they don't ask), the thrill of telling people is over, and then before you know it you’re back to your old ways. In most areas of our lives we are accountable for what we do, and I think that one of the best ways to get yourself on the path to being a hardbody geek is to be accountable in a public forum. A blog is probably the easiest way to do it, and you can even gain some notoriety from your friends and family with your witty and insightful posts. If you’re so inclined you can even venture into the greater blogosphere and try and get other people to read what you’re writing. Before you know it you’ll build a network of people that can support you through your endeavors. While it’s nice to know that mom still loves you, you can’t beat intheface34 giving you a thumbs up about puking during your last workout.


Step 5: Set Geek Incentives

One of the great joys in taking part in a fitness and nutrition plan is that you get to reward yourself for every tiny little thing that you do. Use this to your advantage and set some geek incentives for doing well – think of it at Xbox 360 achievements for real life. You can set these incentives with pretty much anything – body fat loss, consecutive workouts, you name it. Got a gadget you’ve been wanting for a while? Buy it for yourself as a present after successfully completing your first 30 days. Dying for a new laptop? Get it after you finish 90 days. You were probably going to buy those things for yourself anyway, so why not double the enjoyment of purchasing by satisfying both your geek and newly christened hardbody sides?


Yes, these steps are somewhat simplified in that they skip over the sweat dripping, pain filled, puking inducing workouts. However, it's the workouts that are the easy part. They take up a grand total of 60 minutes of your entire day – barely enough to get in the way of a TF2 frag session. The hard part is staying focused on the overall idea of getting into shape and not getting discouraged. There’s also the issue of allowing yourself to find excuses that get in the way of your workouts – excuses suck and they’re a waste of time. Your boss wouldn’t let you get away with, “well, I didn’t get the project done because I was in my raid party until 2:00am” so why should your body be any different?

Be sure to check out the Hardbody Geeks store for all of your P90X and Power 90 program and equipment needs.

About the Author
Force Trainer is a geek turned self-defense instructor that realized you can still devote hours of your life to gaming while staying in good shape. He has coined the terms “hardbody geek” and “Mountain Dew swilling code monkey” as ways of describing the opposite ends of the geek workout spectrum and is currently working on an equally original scale to describe levels of muscle soreness in the common geek. He still considers himself to be a “wannabe hardbody geek” because he does not yet have a six pack to show the ladies.

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